Hello old friend

Well, Jeremiah 2-3 is who I am right. It's who I've been for a while.
God starts out by saying

"I remember the devotion of your youth,
your love as a bride,
how you followed me in the wilderness"

And that's all my sweet walk with Christ appears to be anymore, a mere memory. I remember it as well, and to be honest, those were the best days of my life. I say that with discretion for those who read, because I don't desire to offend anyone or give anyone the wrong impression. Circumstantially, I have a lot of pretty great things going for me right now. I'm getting married to my best friend in 2 months. I'm one semester away from earning my college degree. I'm about to effectively restart my life in multiple ways, and that's exciting.

But as amazing as these things are, they cannot and will not satisfy the longing soul. They were never meant to.

God asks me a question.
"What wrong did your fathers find in me
that they went far from me,
and went after worthlessness, and became worthless?"

I'm not saying the things I mentioned above are sinful. On the contrary, they are great gifts. I'm not even saying I'm idolizing these things explicitly. What is certain however, is that I've strayed and I've been straying. I'm in sin. And God asks me, what wrong I found in Him to do such a thing. After all, I started out strong with love. God's asking me a theoretical question that stops me dead in my tracks. What wrong did I find in Him to stop this love?

I don't have a sufficient answer. I don't have any kind of answer. I may not understand God, but this doesn't mean that He's any less worthy, or wonderful. He isn't any less lovely because he's different than me. His perfections still shine. His glory is still grand. God, you confuse me at times. You often baffle me. Your ways are not my ways. But I find no wrong in you. So why have I strayed? That's why I'm stopped dead in my tracks.

The passage continues.
They did not say, 'Where is the LORD
who brought us up from the land of Egypt,
who led us in the wilderness,
in a land of deserts and pits,
in a land of drought and deep darkness,
in a land that none passes through,
where no man dwells?'
And I brought you into a plentiful land
to enjoy its fruits and its good things.
But when you came in, you defiled my land
and made my heritage an abomination.
The priests did not say, 'Where is the LORD?'
Those who handle the law did not know me;
the shepherds transgressed against me;
the prophets prophesied by Baal
and went after things that do not profit.

This passage is once again fairly pointed. God denotes all the great things He's done for His people (and for me). He brought me out of Egypt (bondage). He carried me from a desert wasteland into a land of plenty. One might think in this passage that God might be noting that his people didn't doubt him because they did not question where He was. But I don't think that's it at all. God is actually noting their (my) faithlessness. After God did all these marvelous things for his people, they went out and did their own thing. And their thing was blatant rebellion. They had such disregard for God, that in the midst of their rebellion, they didn't even ask "Where is God?" They had no regard for Him whatsoever in their sin. And this is me. I go on in my sin, without care. "Where is God?" in this passage denotes unbelief. I live as if He's not even watching. I don't even think to ask myself if He happens to see my rebellion.

"my people have changed their glory
for that which does not profit.
Be appalled, O heavens, at this;
be shocked, be utterly desolate,

declares the LORD, for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me,
the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves,
broken cisterns that can hold no water."

Given the verses above, especially verse 4, this is why we see sin is so exceedingly appalling. No wrong can be found in God, in fact, only glory. He provides for, and delivers his people. He offers, yes, even bestows upon them (me) a great salvation. And they (I) run away. I make my own idols. I direct my worship toward my selfish interests. I look for comfort where there is no comfort. My idols hold no water. Neither do my attempts to justify myself and earn favor with the Lord. Everything I clamor for, my sins, hold not a single drop of water. There is no refreshment. And what makes this forsaking of the living fountain so terrible is the fact that I once walked with Him. I once drank deep. I once tasted. I once infallibly knew that there was no one thing greater than He.
"Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly."
It's all vomit in comparison. Any idol is vomit in comparison.

"Know and see that it is evil and bitter
for you to forsake the LORD your God;
the fear of me is not in you,

declares the Lord GOD of hosts. "For long ago I broke your yoke
and burst your bonds;
but you said, 'I will not serve.'
Yes, on every high hill
and under every green tree
you bowed down like a whore.
Yet I planted you a choice vine,
wholly of pure seed.
How then have you turned degenerate
and become a wild vine?"

It hurts, but not as much as it should when I read this. The fear of God is not in me. How irreverent can I be? How foolish? How dumb? God has done all these mighty things for me, and yet my attitude is clearly "I will not serve". He then talks about becoming a wild vine. My sin is serious. My backsliding is serious. When Christ says "Unless you repent, you will likewise perish", He is talking to me.

Is this passage in Hebrews addressing me?
"it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt. For land that has drunk the rain that often falls on it, and produces a crop useful to those for whose sake it is cultivated, receives a blessing from God. But if it bears thorns and thistles, it is worthless and near to being cursed, and its end is to be burned."

I can't take this too lightly. If I don't turn away from sin and turn to God through Christ, I will go to hell. I'm not saying one can lose their salvation. What I am saying is this, people can look, smell, and act like Christians. They can be DANG CLOSE. (see the parable of the seed sower) But being dang close doesn't make you one, no matter how close you are. (1 John 2:19).

And here I am again in Jeremiah 2.
"Though you wash yourself with lye
and use much soap,
the stain of your guilt is still before me"

I know I'm guilty, so I try to make myself right before God. I try to do a bunch of stuff, usually punish myself as some odd form of penitence to make myself right. But my efforts are useless. Everything I attempt to do to clean myself, completely and utterly fails. My stain is still bright red before God.

The rest of the passage has stinging language about my whoredom. Perhaps something that stings more than all these is this passage here.
"Yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah did not return to me with her whole heart, but in pretense, declares the LORD."

I mean, this sums it up pretty nicely. My attitude is depicted in this here- "But in the time of their trouble they say,
'Arise and save us!'"

I only turn to the Lord when I'm in dire need. His commands and threatenings don't stir me. His love does not woo me. His glory does not enthrall me. His wrath does not motivate me. But when I need something to go my way, or if I'm in danger or inconvenience, then I turn. How disgusting is that?

In fact, he says that I only turn after I've done all the evil I could do. (Jeremiah 3:4-5)
This isn't the heart of repentance. It's nasty whatever it is.

Yet, after all this, Have I written myself off through my actions? NO.
Return, faithless Israel,
declares the LORD.I will not look on you in anger,
for I am merciful,

declares the LORD; I will not be angry forever. Only acknowledge your guilt,
that you rebelled against the LORD your God
and scattered your favors among foreigners under every green tree,
and that you have not obeyed my voice,

declares the LORD. Return, O faithless children,
declares the LORD;
for I am your master;

I'm not too sinful to be beyond grace. My backslidings can and will be covered, if I only come to Christ. (John 6:37)
I will be welcomed by the Father (Parable of the prodigal son).

Only one problem remain. I don't know how to not turn in pretense. Can a Leopard change his spots? The answer is no. I cannot change. But the God who is there pulls out hearts of stone and gives hearts of flesh. He tells dead bones to live, and they live.
All those the Father gives me will come to me,And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me"

When God says walk to the lame- they walk. When He says see- the blind see. When He says stop- the storm stills. When he says die- the tree withers. And when He says "Come forth you sinner, and live, for I love you and have set my grace upon you"- they live.

My hope is in the great prerogative of God. He can make me new through the accomplishments of Christ. May He grant me faith that clings to Him, while I wait for His salvation. Remember your promises oh God. Do not forsake me, for my only hope is in you through Jesus Christ!

Wrestling with God is worth the limp.

Heart idols. Comfort.

I've heard it said several times that our hearts are idol factory's. Our hearts are naturally prone to wander from the Lord and replace Him with idols. Romans 1 says we have a natural bent to do this- we suppress the Lord in unrighteousness because we think the things we replace Him with will satisfy us more. I've also heard it said that for every idol we make in place of the Lord, there is an underlying "heart idol" manifesting itself.

If you wanted to go down as deep as you could go, a question you'd ask yourself is this one- why do I do the things I do? Many theologians would say there are four reasons why you do the things you do.

A desire for power, comfort, control, and approval.

For whatever reason it may be, my heart idol is conditioned toward comfort. And what ties closely to this is the idea of pleasure. I do what comforts me because it makes me feel good. Or, you could say, I do what gives me pleasure because it comforts me.

Because then, this heart idol exists, I go all other places to give me comfort and pleasure. This heart idol manifests itself in any number of ways. Let's use lust- a common sin struggle for men.

I am most tempted to turn to lust for comfort when I'm down.

Now, it would be a lie to say that turning to lust doesn't offer some amount of pleasure. Truth be told, it does offer pleasure. There is pleasure to be had in sexual things. If I turn to that sin, I turn to it because it's quick and easy and self satisfying.

Lust however, is selfish. It's a distortion of what God intended for good. It's rebellion against Him. These things are evident.

But even if I were to turn to sex in marriage, which is God's healthy and good outlet for desires such as these- If I turned to sex in marriage when I needed to be filled, it would still be an idol.

Is it wrong to desire comfort or pleasure? Not at all.

On the contrary-

The Lord says

"I am He that comforts you." (Isa 51:12)

One of the Holy Spirt's names is The Comforter.

2 Cor. 7:6 says - "God comforts the downcast"

Even more then these references, there are these in the Psalms.

"You give them drink from your river of delights"

"Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere"

"Your steadfast love is better than life"

"There are pleasures at your right hand forevermore"

Clearly, Comfort and pleasure are things that God possesses. They are things found in His character. They are things that God cares about. In fact, these things are so important to God, He asks us this question.

"Why do you... spend your labor for that which does not satisfy?" (Isa 55:2)

The question in effect says, Why in the world are you wasting your time with all of this junk? Why are you spending so much of your time and hard work, looking towards these things which do not satisfy?

Perhaps the entire summation of these great evils could go like this-

Jeremiah 2:13

For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out for themselves broken cisterns that hold no water.

This is the hideous nature of sin- of our heart idols manifesting themselves- God says you've traded my glory for crap. You've traded fullness for nothing.

If only we'd see that God's commands are for our good. Take for example, the command to love your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. This explicitly commands us to not love our own comfort more than God. And what's interesting about all of this is, God says "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." (psalm 37:4)

Loving the Lord will bring comfort to your soul. Loving the Lord will bring your pleasure. "He satisfies the longing soul." And God does this through Jesus.

"I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me shall never hunger and whoever believes in me shall never thirst."

Jesus is the end of our search for comfort and pleasure. He gives us rest. He satisfies us with His steadfast love. God's glory shines in His face for us to see. And He has died to make sinners right with God- to give us more than we can ever imagine and all that He gives is in Himself. Eternal life is knowing God the Father and Jesus Christ.

I know what God has in store for me- It is the fullness of Himself. But I'll never be able to imagine what that is like. You'll never be able to imagine what it's like. Taste and see that He is good.

I don't quite understand why I go searching for life outside of Christ. It won't be found outside him. I hate that my search for joy has been outside of him.

Lord, forgive me.

God, I confess that life is found in you.
Lord, forgive me for turning away from you.

A child that's slow to learn and quick to turn away
-Blake.

Help me, Jesus. Please save me, Jesus.

I believe these simple words are at the heart of saving faith.
Help me, Jesus. Please save me, Jesus.
It's the humble recognition that you need help. More than that, you need saving.
It then takes the eye off your helpless self and puts it on the only one who can fill your need.
I'm a wretched sinner. Help me, Jesus. Please save me, Jesus.
I'm weak. Help me, Jesus. Please save me, Jesus.
I believe Lord Jesus. Help my unbelief. Help me, Jesus. Please save me, Jesus.

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

-Louisa Stead

The enemy will try casting in seeds of unbelief

So, technically I'm doing this for my own good, but also for others good as well. There are a couple of folks who say they sit in the reformed camp (but really, it's more of a gnostic camp than anything) who have been sowing seeds of unbelief. In fact, what some of these folks have been saying is heretical. Satan and his messengers are crafty. They are liars and deceivers and they will do anything to deceive God's elect people.

Satan can and will do this to weak christians. He will try to do it (and often does) to strong christians. I'm convinced the tool that he uses most effectively is the bible itself. Don't get too bent out of shape when I say that, because it's true. Does anyone remember how Satan used SCRIPTURE when he tempted Jesus in Matthew 4? Let's not for an instant think he's not doing the same to christians today. Scripture is where God communicates Himself and His purposes to us. It's where we go to learn about the fountain, and drink from it. Because satan knows this, he will do anything he can to try and confuse us with scripture itself. So I'm going to give these people the benefit of the doubt. I do believe it's very likely they are believers. I believe it's also very likely that Satan has distorted their thinking with scripture. This can happen (and I would say it's inevitable that it will happen to all christians at least at some point in their life time).

Recently I've heard it stated by some people, that God created sin. The idea should make anyone gasp, but some people are arguing for this and they are dragging people into their misinterpretation and deception. The argument goes something like this. God created all things. Sin is a thing. God created sin.

Before I even get into the specifics, there is a reason why this argumentation is faulty. There are similar passages that use the words "all things". For example, the famous passage "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" If we take that passage literally to the T, I could distort it if I wanted to, to sound like this. "Jesus says I can do all things through Him. Becoming God is a thing. Jesus says all things are possible through Him. That means I can become GOD."
That's just ludicrous.

Scripture always interprets scripture. Romans 5:12 states that sin entered the world through one man. It doesn't say sin entered the world through God.

Well what about satan? What about the devil and his demons (or angels)? 2 Peter 2:4, Jude 6, and Revelation 12 all seem to speak enough about what happened there. But if that still isn't enough, I'd like to introduce one more argument. You see, the reason why I'm writing this is because I am weak. I'm quick to disbelieve how God has revealed Himself. I'm sinful, and if given the opportunity, I will latch on to lies. It's been a temptation to believe this one.
What did Jesus do when Satan used scripture against Him? Jesus used scripture against Satan.

God said in Genesis 1:31 that everything he created is good. This is also mentioned again in 1 Timothy 4:4. Everything God created is good.

The word good in these passages does not necessarily mean morally pure (although it can.) These people will argue (and even rightfully so) that the word good here simply means God approved of his creation. It's like God saying, This is good! I approve! This argument is actually fine.

Habakkuk 1:13 says- Your eyes are too pure to approve evil, And You can not look on wickedness with favor.

Sin is described as an unclean thing: a filthy thing in Isaiah 64:6. Foul and polluted are other words. If God's eyes are too pure to approve evil, then certainly they are too pure to create evil! He cannot look on wickedness with favor! And If God created Adam and Eve sinful: If God created Satan sinfully, He could not look upon his creation with approval! He could not look and say "This is beautiful!"

Now some of you may ask, why is there evil now? That's another question for another day.
Until that time, don't believe everything you hear. Stay in the word, and if Satan (or others) try to deceive you, be sure to fight fire with fire. Use scripture to fight the devil when he uses scripture against you.

I'm doing summer staff 09 (colonial pres). This is my second year, and I happen to be a good deal more excited this year. In fact, I remember typing a blog entry around this time last year stating that I wasn't all that excited and I wasn't sure why. Either way, the scale has tipped in the other direction for 09 and I'm "stoked" to serve. I happen to be the college aged summer staffer, which is certainly an exciting new adventure for Colonial and I both. Of course, this is more so an adventure revisted for Colonial. They've had college aged summer staffers in the past. Either way, it's been a while and I could not be more thrilled and the prospect.

There will be more to come on this later.